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[Jun. 3rd, 2009|09:47 pm] |
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Mom accused of duct-taping daughter's boyfriend ADELANTO, Calif. (AP) — Authorities arrested a woman for allegedly trying to kidnap her daughter's boyfriend and haul him away to Northern California. A sheriff's spokeswoman said Tuesday that two women went to the young man's home on Saturday afternoon and tried to tie him up with duct tape. ... DAMMIT! I KNEW I'd regret starring in that porno. Now people are trying to reenact it! |
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Video yoinked from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) clarsa |
[May. 30th, 2009|11:40 pm] |
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| Sadako came out of what? |
[May. 24th, 2009|02:05 pm] |
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Horror story printed on toilet paper in Japan TOKYO (AP) -- In a country where ghosts are traditionally believed to hide in the loo, a Japanese company is advertising a new literary experience - a horror story printed on toilet paper. Each roll carries several copies of a new nine-chapter novella written by Koji Suzuki, the Japanese author of the horror story "Ring," which has been made into movies in both Japan and Hollywood. ... I think we'll be alright as long as someone in Japan doesn't invent a high-tech projection device that can use the water in a toilet as a TV screen. |
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| BARACK OBAMA IS A SHAPE-SHIFTING REPTILIAN! |
[May. 22nd, 2009|08:59 am] |
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Alright, no he isn't. But has anyone accused him of being one of the Draconians yet? This morning, David Sirota, who's been doing an extended fill-in on Jay Marvin's morning radio show, has been talking about the preview for the upcoming remake of V and how it seems to make the show out to be a right-wing criticism of Barack Obama. (Sirota had an article about this, including the preview if you're interested, yesterday at the Huffington Post.) There was some joke about a scene in the preview involving Sasha and Malia swallowing rats. Personally, I don't think we should jump to any hostile conclusions if, in fact, there is some rat-eating going on in the White House. We shouldn't judge.:-) |
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| I know, I haven't been posting much |
[May. 14th, 2009|09:12 pm] |
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Cuffed karate master kicked into jail A man with a history of violence was arrested on the Interstate-70 median last week after swinging a set of nunchucks in front of an officer with the Summit County Sheriff’s Office. He was wearing a full-length trenchcoat and declared he was kicked off a bus in Silverthorne while on his way from Denver to Los Angeles. The man said he had been “riding the bus when he saw a girl with the ‘swine flu’ and attempted to eliminate her by grabbing her throat,” according to the SCSO report. ... En route to Summit County Jail, the man told the officer “that he was 468 years old, and was being hunted across the country by priests, nuns and monks,” according to the report. ... 468 years old? Hunted by priests, nuns, and monks? Wasn't that the plot of some Kung Fu movie? Oh well, at least he didn't cut off anybody's head. Although, if he'd have managed to team up with "The Emperor," they would have been unstoppable. Or maybe they'd need help from the guy with the bulldozer in order to attain nigh invulnerability. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 10th, 2009|02:42 am] |
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Full ... of ... wrong. Crammed with it... |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 29th, 2009|09:29 pm] |
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Girl beats off muggers with marching band baton QUARTZ HILL, Calif. (AP) — Don't mess with a marching band girl, especially one armed with a baton. A 17-year-old high school marching band student beat up two assailants who tried to mug her as she walked to school in this high desert community about 40 miles north of Los Angeles, sheriff's officials said Tuesday. The girl punched one of the men in the nose, kicked the other in the groin and beat both with her large baton before she ran away on Friday morning, officials said. ... It's been years since I graduated from college, but I wonder if some college marching bands are still recruiting for that kind of skill. She should be able to get at least a partial scholarship out of this, right? |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 26th, 2009|09:47 pm] |
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WORMS! WORMS ARE CRAWLING DOWN THE STAIRS TO GET MEEEEEE!!!!While it occurs to me that this could potentially be a post about a hallucination, the truth is that there really were worms in the stairwell a few minutes ago. ... Oh, alright. One worm. I put it under stack of building materials in the backyard -- more shelter from the rain. |
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| Maybe China Mieville covered this one |
[Apr. 25th, 2009|09:21 pm] |
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Looking at certain news headlines, I keep misreading some things as "swine flue." It's giving me mental images of pigs with some kind of steam-punkish metal chimney implanted in their backs. No word on what's powering the pigs inside. |
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| Dark fantasy movie to watch out for |
[Apr. 23rd, 2009|10:22 pm] |
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I finally managed to see Ink tonight, and I thought it was a legitimately good movie. Its run just got extended through April 30th, and I don't know how it'll be distributed after this, but it'll probably sneak out into the market through one channel or another. |
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| Yoinked from gomeza |
[Apr. 23rd, 2009|01:19 pm] |
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If Scientific American says it, it must be true Maybe this explains why dinosaurs were supposedly sighted during the Biblical age -- they merely fell back to Earth after circling around the solar system for millions of years. (Does this mean I should stop blaming time-traveling Creationists for planting evidence?) |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 22nd, 2009|09:03 pm] |
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The voices in my head are trying to convince me there's a feline coloration known as "cowlicko." (5 Google hits) Although I guess that'd be more an indicator of the disorderly nature of the coat. There may be a higher degree of difficulty with transforming "tortoiseshell" into "something-or-other-Hell," denoting a cat with a coat coloration displaying scenes from Hell. |
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| Damn! They moved the artificial borders! |
[Apr. 20th, 2009|09:12 pm] |
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Readings show Four Corners marker off by 2.5 miles Tourists who think they're putting a hand or foot in each of four states at the Four Corners area are apparently missing the mark — by about 2.5 miles. National Geodetic Survey officials say the Four Corners marker showing the intersection of Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico and Utah is about 2.5 miles west of where it should be. .... Alright -- who has to do over their visit to the Four Corners area now? Anybody? Show of hands. Actually, I think the bigger tourist attraction in the near future will be the four-way border war between each state's respective National Guard units. |
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| Competive eating of the ... I mean with the stars |
[Apr. 14th, 2009|09:51 pm] |
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Word of advice: be careful of how you advertise a "celebrity rib eating contest," because I might misunderstand. Also... Just a reminder -- the Third Amendment of the U.S. Constitution prohibits the quartering of soldiers in peacetime, not the drawing and quartering of soldiers. Don't make the same mistake I just did. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2009|05:17 pm] |
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Here's a subject line from a SPAM E-mail I found a while ago... "Totally uncensored way to meet interesting women" Hm. Are they suggesting that any other method of meeting interesting women is subject to censorship? Maybe AmazonFail has extended into the search capabilities of the personals websites. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2009|12:26 pm] |
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I woke up with a teenage girl narrating in my head. This was the beginning of her story... My parents named me Hegemony. And no, they didn't have the first clue what it meant. My mom heard it one time -- she couldn't tell you when it was, or the source -- and thought it sounded ... pretty. If you told them what my name meant, they'd forget a minute later. Repeat ad infinitum ... and naseum. ... No word on whether she was doomed to go on to exert social, cultural, ideological, or economic dominance over others. |
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