Judging from the complaints I'm hearing, the trophy for the town's annual talent show is once again about to be handed to an uncoordinated and somewhat confused little girl in tap shoes who's not old enough to completely comprehend why her mom pushed her up onto the stage.

Except this time the problem has gone nationwide.

I recently remedied my unemployment problem, and my new employer has another job opening they're trying to fill.

If you know someone (or maybe that person is you -- but do you truly know yourself?) in need of a job fitting the description of the one below, feel free to send them the link...

Windows / Linux Hybrid Technician II at Covalent IT in Wheat Ridge, CO

If you have any questions about the place, feel free to ask.

...

What -- I didn't make a bizarre joke out of this?

I want to try a little experiment.

Click the YouTube link below (definitely NSFW, BTW -- probably not even safe for home) but don't look at the screen for the first thirty seconds, because I think knowing the title of the video lessens the impact. I suspect you'll know when to look up.:-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1IxOS4VzKM&feature=player_embedded

Not safe for work...

The Arts of Romance

Ya know the aquarium by the ATM in your supermarket?

The big goldfish is stealing PIN numbers.

Once the plastic shopping bags are gone...

...what will lost souls wear?

Here's a short story for those of you familiar with the movie The Thing...

The Things by Peter Watts

Addressing an old joke (for those of you who saw it long ago)...

I rewrote my introduction to "Jane Austen's War of the Worlds" and entered it into a contest here...

BoingBoing: Win an Envy 15 laptop for your prime-cut literary travesties

My entry is here. (Entry #169, if the link doesn't work.)

For those of you who might be too easily entertained by this sort of thing (as I was)...

The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon